The Power and Privilege of Mentoring
Being mentored can be enormously impactful for leaders of not-for-profit organisations and social enterprises who come with a unique set of challenges compared to the for-profit world including limited resources and budgets to deliver their services.
Mentees can feel empowered as they gain new insights, acquire improved strategic skills and make progress towards their aspirations with a help of a mentor, but do we as mentors appreciate what it’s like to be on the other side of a mentoring relationship?
For some mentees, fear and self-doubt are the primary emotions they experience when they first participate in a mentoring relationship. The idea of opening up, being vulnerable and feeling judged when sitting across from someone more knowledgeable and more experienced can be extremely daunting.
As a mentor it’s easy to slip into giving advice without considering the fears your mentee may have. These might include imposter syndrome - a common fear for women, comparison with peers leading to feelings of inadequacy, or simply fear of failure. This may come across as a hesitancy to ask questions or continuous deference to your opinions. Fear may also look like extreme self-confidence. If you sense apprehension or false bravado, often it’s best to call it out. Gently acknowledging the fact that you are more experienced and may feel intimidating will begin to settle your mentee’s nerves.
Of course, at the heart of understanding a mentee’s needs and how you can help is their willingness to ask you questions, yet sometimes mentees often fear that a dumb question will make them look foolish, so they hold back. Without free-flowing questions, your guidance may be misunderstood.
As a mentor, you rely on your mentee to weigh up suggestions and advice, acting only on ideas that fit their personal goals and values. A fearful mentee may not trust themselves to reject or adapt your advice to suit their circumstances. This changes the relationship from mentor to superior, an unhealthy shift for both parties.
Creating a supporting environment where mentees can address their fears will make the mentoring relationship more productive and fulfilling. Helping mentees understand that you are also human and have your own self-doubts and vulnerabilities will also help minimise the power imbalance.
Being on the other side of a mentoring relationship can be a rich and fulfilling journey characterised by a range of emotions from satisfaction and pride, to being challenged and empowered. If undertaken with trust and respect and a willingness to learn, it’s a powerful opportunity for personal growth and development for both mentors and mentees.
Written by Lisa Cotton, Chairperson of the Board at Kennards Hire Foundation; Non Executive Director & Chair Social Impact Committee, Campbell Page and Professional Impact Network member, Social Impact Hub.